| What is it with all the cats in the winter? Do they | | | | Have husband belch loudly and pick his nose at |
| forget how to catch mice? They are so round | | | | the dinner table. Of course, if the house guest |
| and fat they look like they are going to explode, | | | | husband does this too, it probably won't deter |
| yet when you put food in front of them they eat | | | | them. 3. Turn on hot water for washer when |
| as if they were starving. Sort of like my | | | | house guest is in the shower or flush the toilet. 4. |
| mother-in-law. Wait! Scratch that. Never mind. | | | | Cook a lot of beans. They are cheap and loaded |
| Don't. What are the chances she'll read anything I | | | | with protein among other things. 5. Have the |
| wrote? My sister-in-law can tell her.We're having a | | | | neighbor children over and make sure they run |
| heat wave. It warmed up to 33 degrees. The | | | | through the house and get into everything. Mine |
| icicles started melting and falling off of the house. | | | | do that anyway. 6. Run out of soap and toilet |
| One of them almost got the cat, like a spear. I'm | | | | paper (hide some for yourself, of course). I tried |
| sure that the scare took away one or two of his | | | | running out and the house guest presented me |
| nine lives. | | | | with a grocery list. They can't find a store or their |
| How come mice never have accidents. They | | | | wallet to contribute. I guess that the pleasure of |
| chew through electric wires, cause fires, then run | | | | their company is supposed to suffice. Oh, by the |
| off into the fields. Maybe we could leave decoy | | | | way, the beans everyday finally did the trick. Do |
| food in the yard to lure them away from the | | | | you want to borrow my bean cookbook?Granny |
| house.After all my house guests left, there wasn't | | | | Marge just published her second humor book, |
| enough food left to interest the mice. I've devised | | | | Granny's Journal, following closely on the heels of |
| a plan to rid myself of unwanted house guests. | | | | her first one, Have I Ever Told You How Much I |
| You know the kind. They stay and stay and eat | | | | Hate People? Written by Two Little Old Ladies |
| and eat and complain.1. Let the dog lick off the | | | | With No Friends. |
| plates then put them directly into the cupboard. 2. | | | | |